Okay.. So I haven’t really got my blog up and running yet like I had planned to do.. but I’ve decided to try and fit it in with everything else I’m trying to fit in at the moment.. because I really do believe following someone else journey can be so amazing for people.. So I do want to start sharing some insight into mine with you all!
The reason I haven’t been sharing on my Blog like I originally planned to is because this year didn’t really go as planned..
Here’s a little insight into what’s happened personally for me this year…
Once I discovered my purpose in 2017.. Which is guiding people through Self Development and teaching people how to work on themselves and create a life where they feel amazing everyday, and learn how to get to the point of actually doing what they deep down wish they could do and feel in their lives.. - I immediately knew that I was going to develop some kind of program that will take people on this journey and to start a journey of Growth for themselves..
The thought that people could have something that they have to sit down to in their spare time and learn about what can happen behind the scenes of our minds and our souls and our subconscious, and learn how to breakthrough and let go all of the the old limiting beliefs and patterns that are dragging them down and keeping them stuck - all while connecting with themselves on a completely different level.. and have the direct questions, tools and techniques that will bring their whole life together, so that each week over a period of time, they are re-freshing their whole lives and figuring the whole thing out.. literally made me feel a way I’ve never felt before - I was desperate to bring this concept into reality straight away..
So I got started with planning straight away.
I had planned to spend the whole of 2018 developing The About That Program - A guide through Self Development to awaken you to the best version of yourself - and become: About That Life, a life you are unconditionally and unapologetically obsessed with!
I had also planned to share some of My own journey and share Self Development content to give people a better understanding about this whole world.
I had no idea how to actually do that.. I had no idea how to film footage, I had no idea how to create a program or develop worksheets or how to make content, and I had no idea how to get my message out there.
But I decided I could use my mindset to figure out whatever I wanted, and that’s what I did, I decided that nothing could stop me, and I made it my mission to figure anything needed out..
But then - On the 16th of February, I was five days late for my Period.. and even though not one part of me thought I could be pregnant, I took a test anyway..
After a few minutes one strong line came through, and then shortly after.. a second line came through.
I’d felt this feeling two times in my life before.. My hands started shaking and I got extremely dizzy, the room literally started to spin and tears welled up in my eyes..
Thoughts were running through my head at a million miles a minute “I can’t be pregnant, I can’t have another baby, I don’t have the room in the house - we only live in a two bedroom house, my car is too small, I’ve already got my hands full with two, I never planned on having a third, How am I going to handle this” and most of all - “How am I ever going to build my Program and my platform now” - The last one really really rattled me.
I was SO determined to make this vision come alive, I’d already been working on it for a while, I’d figured out how I was going to do it all.. but now I felt completely stuck and confused about why this was happening… Why had The Universe planted this in my life at the one time I could not have a baby..
That was my initial response, it lasted a few days - a few days of pure shock and dizziness and overthinking, a few days of incredible fear and mixed emotions..
I didn't know if I was happy.. sad.. excited.. overwhelmed.. I couldn’t gather one emotion from another - which is a real spin when you find out something like this.. Because the guilt thats on top of all of that of not initially feeling overjoyed can really play on your mind..
But once I sat down and gathered myself.. once I remembered how I could ground myself and process all of this information.. and actually connect with mySELF and not just listen to the thoughts racing through my mind..
I was reminded of all of the things that I deep down know.. but the shock took over all of that initially.
I was reminded of some of my own principles that I teach, and I came back to myself.
I remembered my newly cultivate mindset of doing this no matter what.
I also remembered that I knew how to conduct myself when obsticales get in the way, and how to connect to the deeper meaning of things.. and once I reminded myself of all the Principles I needed to get through that.. some of the same Principles I teach today..
It was full steam ahead.
I was back to myself, and my mind that was initially taking over any possibility for me to see clearly through this was put back in its place.
I’m going to be honest.. since then it hasn’t been the easitest ride, the first trimester completely knocked me.. as anyone has been pregnant before knows.. the fatigue and moodiness you experience in the first trimester is truly debilitating. I pushed through but it felt almost impossible - I remembered to always hold my vision in focus and that’s what got me through but it honestly felt like I was insane for even trying to do what I was trying to do.
The second trimester came along and my goodness what a GODSEND!
I felt like myself again, well mostly - I had most of my energy back, but pregnancy is a tricky thing - it's VERY unpredictable and each day is completely different - One day you can feel like you’re completely yourself and the next day you can be struck down with some kind of symptom that makes life 30 times as hard.
The funny thing is.. the biggest thing I’ve been dealing with is not actually physically.. it’s emotionally.
I’ve experienced quite a rollercoaster of emotions (pregnancy hormones are insane)
And one day I’m so clear and on track and the next day I need to work really hard to get back to myself..
(Thank god I now know how to get myself back to my best after going through my own little Self Development journey) - But I don’t usually have to do this nearly as much as I am at the moment.
My body is trying to keep up with the amount of work, which at the moment is about 7 days per week - day and night.. in any breaks I can get whilst looking after the kids - and that's the other thing, doing all of this as well as be a Mum (which is seriously the most energy taxing job in the world) and run a household.. Oh and grow a Bub - So yes, this program and platform I’m building hasn’t been the easiest ride.. but I know how transformational it will be for people so I’m still here showing up every day and night.. while most are out on Friday, Saturday, Sunday.. I’m on that computer putting everything into it with my little people doing everything to get in the way.. But the truth is, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
I'm not going to lie.. There’s been huge amounts of tears (the hormones aren’t helping) and there's been moments where I question the entire thing and if I can actually get it done.
There's been changes in plans (as you may of seen on my Instagram last week - The big change I made to the Program... I will do a post on this at a later date - because I'm seriously SO excited about it - but woah it really knocked me)
And this whole year so far has been the most intense rollercoaster of emotions, I’ve discovered so much more on my journey, I’ve been tested in ways I never have before, I’ve felt a whole new set of fears that I didn’t expect to come..
I’ve learnt its pretty hard to put yourself out there, it's really hard to ‘market’ yourself and what you have to offer (even when you believe so whole-heartedly in what you’re offering) and it's really hard to know if people are understanding your message and vision or not.
One thing remains crystal clear to me..:
How much people could use something to lean on to guide them through How to Work on themselves and work on their lives and get to know themselves in a way they never knew possible!
2018 hasn’t been as smooth as I predicted.. And I know its only going to get more intense from here.. However no journey is ever going to be completely smooth sailing.. and I’m very lucky I can practise what I preach in the Program while taking on the hardest challenge of my life so far.. because I would of broken a long time ago if I didn’t.
So basically that was just a really long explanation as to why I haven’t been blogging as much as I originally wanted to..
But from here on out I’m going to make it a priority to share more of stories and share more of my insights with you.. I want to give you guys an insight into Self Development and Awareness, because I want you to realise you can always decide you want more from life and you can transform yourself completely all by working on yourself in ways you haven’t known how to before - and soon you’ll have a step by step process to get you there!
I truly believe that Self Development is absolutely crucial for everyone! And has the ability to transform people’s lives into the lives they’ve always wanted for themselves, and not only do I want to give you a step by step guide for you to go through that yourself (The Program, which is coming in about two months)
And I want to share a little more about my own journey and what I’ve been through over the years.
There is so much power in reading about someone else's journey and hearing what other people go through. Often reading about what other people have been through can completely open your mind and lead to insight into your own life, it inspires you to start to connecting the dots of something that might be completely relevant to your own journey while just enjoying listening and connecting to someone else’s story.
There is so much power in knowing that we all struggle with our Minds, literally all of us - and this is especially true when we don’t have any idea how they are effecting us personally or any idea how to change that and overrule them. We are all battling Old limiting stories that hold us back and from feeling and being our best and make our decisions for us, most of the time without even being aware of it, and there is so much power when you realise it’s pretty much normal to operate like that, until you decide to evolve and work on yourself - You don’t have to settle! Ever.. in face decided to work on yourself is a journey you start and never stop, and it makes life so much more incredible.
So I will do my best throughout the chaotic amount of work I’ve got on my plate (Don’t worry - I love it so its not as stressful as it sounds.. most of the time) to share a bit more insight into my journey.. and a bit more insight into what Self Development actually is!
I'm seriously so excited to get this step by step guide out to you all though, because this is the stuff that can really create miracles in your own life - I wouldn’t be this passionate about it - if it didn’t transform me in the way it did, and If I didn’t know it could do the same for you.